In the world of teenage dating, there’s a period of time known as the “talking” stage. This is before two people enter into a committed relationship but after they decide they want to be more than friends.

It’s true, that’s what two people do in this stage of a relationship, but it’s also what people do with all the other people in their lives at any given time. You talk to your friends, your mother, your teachers, as well as your romantic interest. Instead of “talking,” we should call it getting to know one another.

“Talking” sets the stage for any successful relationship because you’re able to test the waters and get to know the other person’s character on a more intimate level. This allows you to decide whether you wish to pursue a more serious relationship with them.

It’s basically a label without the commitment of a relationship. If you’re “talking” to someone, you’re not their boyfriend or girlfriend. So what does that make you?

When a relationship has such an unclear definition, things can get messy.

The ambiguity of the phrase “talking” lends itself to people who may want to “talk” to more than one person at one time, while the other person may not be on the same page and would prefer to have a monogamous relationship.

Our generation has become so fearful of commitment that our first instinct is to bolt when someone mentions dating to someone else after only “talking” to them for a little while.

But why? I don’t see why people give the term “dating” so much weight today. Of course dating someone is a big deal, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to get married. It’s called dating simply because you go on dates.

It’s obvious that dating today is much different than it used to be 10, 20, 30 years ago. It’s almost unheard of for a teenager to ask someone out on a formal date today; we prefer to call it “hanging out,” even if there are obvious romantic implications.

However, the complete evasion of commitment is worrisome. Why are we so hesitant to fully commit to someone? Is it out of reservation, in case someone “better” comes along? Or have we completely subscribed to the hookup culture of “friends with benefits” and “no strings attached” relationships?

Either way, there should be a revival in the romanticism of dating, even in high school.  Let’s stop fearing commitment and give “real” dating a chance, by getting to know someone and committing to a relationship without so much hesitation.

Nelson can be reached at [email protected]